


It's Just This Desperation

by rubberplant



Category: A Prayer for Owen Meany - John Irving
Genre: Ambiguous Relationships, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Compliant, Fate, First In The Fandom, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Memories, Missing Scene, Pining, Possibly Unrequited Love, Regret, Vignette, oh no
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:20:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23246158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubberplant/pseuds/rubberplant
Summary: Just John pining for Owen, hard.
Relationships: Owen Meany/John Wheelright
Comments: 4
Kudos: 4





	It's Just This Desperation

He remembered one night. They were lying in the bed of Owen’s red pickup, it was night, and maybe summer. Could have been spring. They were whispering and giggling. Hearing Owen giggle was one of the things that made John light up inside. Turned his guts to warm, heavy mush and made him fall in love just a little bit more. Not that he wasn’t already completely in love with Owen Meany. 

Maybe they had been drunk. There was all sorts of crud rolling around with them in the trunk, a couple beer bottles could have been included. Side by side, the stars twinkling impossibly high up, Owen with his face half illuminated. A smile slashed across his face, as jagged and deep as a slash in granite. His small eyes were half lidded, should have made them seem smaller but it only accentuated the life behind them. A sigh escaped his lips and John moved closer to him.

Owen had that effect. A weak giggle slid into the night air and he blinked. Looked at him, where he was, close. Watched his lips form words, impossibly faint, trying them out before giving them to him-

“YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND, JOHN.”

His breath caught and he heard the muffled thumps of Owen’s hand searching the bottom of the truck, searching for his hand. He gripped him tightly and his thumb ghosted over John's missing index finger, a reminder of something he still couldn't understand.

“OK? YOU'LL MISS ME, RIGHT?"?”

Owen craned his head back and his eyes tilted open as he stared at the sky, unseeing, face dark and braver than it had to be.

He’d be there. Johnny knew that he thought that. He pressed himself to Owen in the bed of his truck and held him back. He wrapped him in his arms so he wouldn’t fall impossibly upwards. He let Owen bury his face in his shoulder and whisper to him madly so the cosmos couldn’t suck him away too soon. He kissed his head as he held the man who whispered in his own broken way to him about fate.

He cried silently to fight God and the universe for possession over Owen meany.

_Give him back._

_Give him back_

**Author's Note:**

> Title from the aptly named song "Owen Meany" by Lagwagon, a song all about, you guessed it, Owen Meany.


End file.
